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Barack Obama: Messiah or Greek God?

By now I’m sure that we have all heard the Messianic claims of “The One”. You know, things like “this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal” or “a light will shine down, from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany and you will say to yourself, I have to vote for Barack” (outlined ever so subtly in this McCain ad). And its clear by the undying devotion of the Obamatrons that he is not the only one who believes that he has “become a symbol of America returning to our best traditions”.

But it seems that Obama is tired of being seen as a mere Messiah and wants to go for a somewhat more mythical appearance. Or atleast that’s what the stage at his inaugural spe… opps, I mean nomination acceptance speech would imply.

You see Obama has opted out of the traditional setting for an acceptance speech, (you know, big American flag, flashy American styled graphics on big screen tvs, American themed confetti and ballons falling from the ceiling) for a style more fitting of a Greek god (you know, big greek pilars, 80,000 cheering worshipe… opps, I mean supporters in a massive stadium, an epic finish with thousands of explosions that light up the sky and leave people in majestic awe… otherwise know as fireworks).

But hey the Messiah tag isn’t Obama’s fault, its McCain’s, right? So this Greek god talk must be McCain’s fault too! Right, OK wait… No. Actually, Obama’s Greek god status is apparently nothing compaired to McCain’s wealth. Yea, that one is gonna stick…

And here I thought the Republicans were the racially divisive ones, silly me

Looks like the Democrats don’t mind throwing racial slurs at each other…

I mean we all know they don’t mind tossing extremely serious accusations of racism at the other side without a single example or shred of evidence but thrashing each other that’s new!

Oh wait…

No its not. (I could go on and on)

UPDATE: Union leaders calling their own white members racist just because they don’t support Obama…

Obama’s attempt to be as cool as a 12 year old girl fails horribly…

So it seems that Barack Obama’s master plan to text all of his adoring obamatons with his vice presidential pick before anyone else was a complete and total failure (a lot like the pick itself). Yes, you heard it right, the plan heralded by “unbiased” reporters and preteens alike took a turn for the worst last night.

Yup apparently supporters who signed up for the special texts were not the first to be notified, despite the promise from the Obama campaign, and not by a long shot.

Some of the first reports in the media came around 11pm on the east coast and the conformations came to the media around 1am. So what time did the loyal supporters get their special notifications? 3am on the east coast… 3am, yea… great job picking a time to notify people who, at least for a while, liked you. (Even my little sister doesn’t text me at that time)

In case you didn’t take the time to do the math thats a full 2 hours after everyone else in the world already knew. Well, so much for that idea.

It’s too bad the wait is over though. It was getting awfully fun watching all the “professional” “journalists” fawning over their cell phones and waiting for what one can only imagine is their first text message (and one from their most favoritest bff ever none the less) as though they had discovered a sort of electronic botox or the 21 centuries fountain of youth.

UPDATE: Looks like the gaffe machine is up and running for Obama-Biden ’08…

UPDATE: Obama failure made even bigger in contrast to McCain’s VP roll out

UPDATE: 3am text… is it a possible Kennedy-like response to Hillary 3am ad? You know… ask not who can answer the phone for you at 3am – ask who you can answer the phone for at 3am.

Where’s the windfall tax, Obama?

Apparently its time to add yet another industry to the list of those who have a larger profit margin than the oil industry. Already included in that list are industries such as pharmaceuticals, food and beverage, Telecomm services, and software. But while those industries can have up to a 20% profit margin, oil is at about 7%, the new addition to the list really jacks up the price for their product, so high that 87.5% of it is pure profit!

The only ones capable of such outrageous windfall profit-mongering are those despicable capitalist-pig corporations, you say? well… not exactly. I’m sorry to disappoint you but the one making this obscene profit is none other than Barack Obama. Yes you read correctly, it seems that Barack Obama has started to charge $8 for something that most likely costs him about $1 to produce.

But whats more shocking than that fact is the fact that what hes charging $8 for is usually given away for free. So what has he started charging for? Campaign lawn signs… other wise known as a free, viral, and effective form of advertising. (But I guess this isn’t the only thing Obama wont give away for free)

Now, it is certainly true that both sides charge to buy these simple signs on-line but this is different. As described in Monte Bute’s article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press the national policy of the Obama campaign is “to charge a nominal fee for lawn signs” even if you go to your local campaign headquarters even if you volunteer for the campaign.

Don’t worry too much though because “An occasional exception might be made for an outstanding volunteer” and “if someone balks at paying for a lawn sign and really wants one, we’ll work something out”.

Isn’t that nice?

In light of this, the next time Obama makes the claim that the oil industry is essentially evil and joyfully practices price gouging on the American public which, in turn, causes him to call for a “windfall profits tax” you just may want to call him up and ask him why he doesn’t consider his lawn sign profits to be of the windfall persuasion?

I think I will…