Dora the Whore-a?

Check out this little tid-bit from CNN:

I wouldn’t be half surprised if she turns out the be dressed as a hooker. The sexualization of youth knows no boundaries…

Porn Industry Wants 5 Billion Dollar Bailout

larry flint

In a move that has the potential to be the most egregious story of this entire massive bailout madness the porn industry will ask for a 5 billion dollar bailout.

CNN reports:

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

So, this request has created the potential for the government to not only prop up a dying industry and one of the most dispicable and disgusting industries to ever grace the face of our fair planet. If this passes, and anything seems possible in this climate, it will represent just how far we have fallen and just how hard conservatives will have to fight to gain back any ground.

But wait, is the porn industry dying at all? Does it even need free money to stay profitable? Well, according to the reject making the request for money, no: Continue reading “Porn Industry Wants 5 Billion Dollar Bailout”

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

In case you missed the first go round we now have the pleasure of a take two which shall be appropriately named:

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

Who are the stars of this sequel you ask? Well I’ll tell you…

First off, like any quality sequel, there is always one returning star. For this production that returning star happens to be AIG. The insurance giant wants billions more on top of the billions they received in Bailout Madness take one.

But, like any sequel worth destroying a country over, this sequel includes a few big name newcomers.

There is American Express who must have figured, “Hey, we suck at running our business too… why not?”

And the last star for this sequel, though you can be sure this certainly isn’t the last sequel (I’m thinking this could be a 5 part series), happens to be the big three automakers. Yes, that’s right, in a not so shocking move Ford, GM, and Chrysler have asked for and received a 25 billion dollar bailout… opps make that two 25 billion dollar bailouts.

Unfortunately the predictability and complete lack of direction combined with an overused and ultimately unsuccessful plot line (you know how it goes, Business meets bad management. Bad management drowns business. Government buys badly managed business. Government provides even worse management, as always. Economy explodes) makes Massive Bailout Madness absolutely unbearable. I am forced to declare it a turkey (and I mean on a Gigli level).

I much prefer the classic and intelligent; Business makes bad choices. Business doesn’t get free money. Business faces consequences of its actions. Business learns lesson and adapts or closes.

But, in an upside for those who prefer the story behind Massive Bailout Madness, I hear it is an extremely popular plot line overseas…

UPDATE: Rumor… Newspapers will be big new star for then third instalment of this worn out series?