Paulson to Lend Money to Anybody Who Wants it

Gosh, doesn’t this sound familiar?

The government stepping in to let just about anybody borrow money regardless of their circumstances.

In fact, I’m relatively sure this is exactly what caused the problem in the first place. Ummm, yea, actually I’m completely positive of that.

Hmm lets think back to the first presidential debate when Obama claimed that deregulation was the cause of our economic ills. Here was my reaction then:

“Deregulation, Obama? Are you kidding? Was it deregulation that created organizations to give people loans that clearly weren’t qualified for them and never would have received them otherwise? Was it deregulation that mandated financial institutes give the same clearly unqualified people loans? Thus creating a massive and seemingly unending housing boom which then lead to a plethora of bad investments, investments which were sold by the government as safe investments. No Obama it wasn’t deregulation, it was idiots like you.”

But, obviously, Bush, Paulson, and the rest of our betterers in DC will never admitt that this is what happened and will, inevitably, stick with the same broken mentality that got us into this mess.

Does anybody see the supreme irony in this move by the government? I mean, yea, there’s the whole quandary of using the same tactics that got is in trouble in order to save us from that trouble. I’m almost convinced that this was the exact conversation that occured when this plan was being mulled over:

(several of Springfield’s best and brightest are stuck in a hole they dug while searching for buried treasure)

Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we’re not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We’ll dig our way out!
Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

But I think, perhaps, the deeper irony lays in the fact that we are increasing our government’s debt for the express purpose of increasing consumer debt. In other words the government is spending money it doesn’t have in order to encourage people to spend money they don’t have. Does that sound like a downward spiral to fiscal hell to anybody else?

UPDATE: Michelle Malkin eventually weighed in on this…

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

In case you missed the first go round we now have the pleasure of a take two which shall be appropriately named:

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

Who are the stars of this sequel you ask? Well I’ll tell you…

First off, like any quality sequel, there is always one returning star. For this production that returning star happens to be AIG. The insurance giant wants billions more on top of the billions they received in Bailout Madness take one.

But, like any sequel worth destroying a country over, this sequel includes a few big name newcomers.

There is American Express who must have figured, “Hey, we suck at running our business too… why not?”

And the last star for this sequel, though you can be sure this certainly isn’t the last sequel (I’m thinking this could be a 5 part series), happens to be the big three automakers. Yes, that’s right, in a not so shocking move Ford, GM, and Chrysler have asked for and received a 25 billion dollar bailout… opps make that two 25 billion dollar bailouts.

Unfortunately the predictability and complete lack of direction combined with an overused and ultimately unsuccessful plot line (you know how it goes, Business meets bad management. Bad management drowns business. Government buys badly managed business. Government provides even worse management, as always. Economy explodes) makes Massive Bailout Madness absolutely unbearable. I am forced to declare it a turkey (and I mean on a Gigli level).

I much prefer the classic and intelligent; Business makes bad choices. Business doesn’t get free money. Business faces consequences of its actions. Business learns lesson and adapts or closes.

But, in an upside for those who prefer the story behind Massive Bailout Madness, I hear it is an extremely popular plot line overseas…

UPDATE: Rumor… Newspapers will be big new star for then third instalment of this worn out series?