Shocker: Chrysler Won’t Repay Bailout Money

chrysler

There goes that cash… straight down the money pit.

But, hey, what’s $7 Billion among friends. Especially nowadays:

Chrysler LLC will not repay U.S. taxpayers more than $7 billion in bailout money it received earlier this year and as part of its bankruptcy filing.

This revelation was buried within Chrysler’s bankruptcy filings last week and confirmed by the Obama administration Tuesday. The filings included a list of business assumptions from one of the company’s key financial advisors in the bankruptcy case.

Now, a pessimist might say that the bailout money has gone down the black hole that these failing companies are and we will never see any of it repaid (even if the companies want to repay it).  Unfortunately I am a pessimist. After all the government would much rather own or control these companies than get money back from them:

An Obama administration official confirmed Tuesday that Chrysler won’t be repaying the loans, though a portion of the bridge loan may be recovered by Treasury from the assets of Chrysler Financial, the former credit arm of the automaker which is essentially going out of business as part of the reorganization.

“The reality now is that the face value [of the $4 billion bridge loan] will be written off in the bankruptcy process,” said the official, who added that the 8% equity stake that Treasury will be receiving as part of the company’s reorganization is meant to compensate taxpayers for the lost money.

Like I said… shocking.

Chrysler Expected to Fail Despite Bailout

Well, there’s absolutely no way anybody could have ever seen this coming. There was no way to ever predict anything like this. No posible way to figure out that the massive bailout madness would backfire and leave the tax payers holding the tab. Who would’ve thought that the brilliant thinking behind all of this could have turned out to be idiotic?

But none the less most analysts now expect Chrysler to fail despite the massive amount of cash the government has thrown their way. These hideous numbers, reported by the Associated Press, tell the story of the idiocy that is the automakers bailout:

Even by the standards of battered automakers, Chrysler is in dire shape. Its sales in December were down a stunning 53 percent, far worse than Ford or General Motors, and analysts say it probably won’t survive the year as an independent company — despite $4 billion in government loans and the possibility of more.

Things were so bad last year that a single Toyota model, the Camry/Solara midsize car, outsold the entire fleet of Chrysler LLC’s passenger cars.

It gets worse: Continue reading Chrysler Expected to Fail Despite Bailout

New Chrysler Ad Campaign: Thanks for the Free Money America!

Chrysler thank you America

That’s the new ad campaign from our friendly failures at Chrysler. A great big thanks for the quick cash!

Well I have a little message for Bob Nardelli and Chrysler. Most of America never wanted to bail you out. We are not happy that you got bailed out. And we certainly do not want you to remind us of your bailout!

Thanks for nothing

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

In case you missed the first go round we now have the pleasure of a take two which shall be appropriately named:

Massive Bailout Madness!!!

Who are the stars of this sequel you ask? Well I’ll tell you…

First off, like any quality sequel, there is always one returning star. For this production that returning star happens to be AIG. The insurance giant wants billions more on top of the billions they received in Bailout Madness take one.

But, like any sequel worth destroying a country over, this sequel includes a few big name newcomers.

There is American Express who must have figured, “Hey, we suck at running our business too… why not?”

And the last star for this sequel, though you can be sure this certainly isn’t the last sequel (I’m thinking this could be a 5 part series), happens to be the big three automakers. Yes, that’s right, in a not so shocking move Ford, GM, and Chrysler have asked for and received a 25 billion dollar bailout… opps make that two 25 billion dollar bailouts.

Unfortunately the predictability and complete lack of direction combined with an overused and ultimately unsuccessful plot line (you know how it goes, Business meets bad management. Bad management drowns business. Government buys badly managed business. Government provides even worse management, as always. Economy explodes) makes Massive Bailout Madness absolutely unbearable. I am forced to declare it a turkey (and I mean on a Gigli level).

I much prefer the classic and intelligent; Business makes bad choices. Business doesn’t get free money. Business faces consequences of its actions. Business learns lesson and adapts or closes.

But, in an upside for those who prefer the story behind Massive Bailout Madness, I hear it is an extremely popular plot line overseas…

UPDATE: Rumor… Newspapers will be big new star for then third instalment of this worn out series?