Since I was recently randomly granted press credentials by the white house I figured I’d give covering the President a shot. So I now present, in chronological order, my live tweeting of President Obama’s speech to the United Nations as I heard it:

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla *head swivel* bla bla bla *head swivel* bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla cleavage bla bla bla in this body bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla eat your vegetables or no dessert India bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla UN sucks bla bla bla bla UN will save the world bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla cold war dead bla bla bla Russia bla bla bla bla test ban treaty bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla peace bla bla enduring peace bla bla bla bla peace bla peace bla UN”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla no Israeli settlements bla bla occupation since 1967 bla bla bla bla Palestinians want peace bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla *teleprompter slip up* bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla wealthy nations killing environment bla bla bla growing nations also evil bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla great depression bla bla greed bla bla excess bla regulation bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla change bla bla bla bla bla real change bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla *pause for half hearted clapping from the audience* bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla I admit that America sucked before I was president bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla thank you bla bla bla *sit down for a second in big ugly chair then get up and leave*”

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