UPDATE: Shocking new Obama accomplishments discovered!!

UPDATE: I’m humbled by this Michelle Malkin link and while I feel that I don’t deserve it I’m going to accept it anyway…

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla *head swivel* bla bla bla *head swivel* bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla cleavage bla bla bla in this body bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla eat your vegetables or no dessert India bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla UN sucks bla bla bla bla UN will save the world bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla cold war dead bla bla bla Russia bla bla bla bla test ban treaty bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla peace bla bla enduring peace bla bla bla bla peace bla peace bla UN”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla no Israeli settlements bla bla occupation since 1967 bla bla bla bla Palestinians want peace bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla *teleprompter slip up* bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla wealthy nations killing environment bla bla bla growing nations also evil bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla great depression bla bla greed bla bla excess bla regulation bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla change bla bla bla bla bla real change bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla *pause for half hearted clapping from the audience* bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla I admit that America sucked before I was president bla bla bla bla”

Obama: “bla bla bla bla bla thank you bla bla bla *sit down for a second in big ugly chair then get up and leave*”

In a major challenge to the US and UN North Korea has kicked out IAEA inspectors, left the six party talks, and declared it would restart its nuclear program. IAEA Spokesperson Marc Vidricaire just released this statement:

“The Democratic People´s Republic of Korea (DPRK) has today informed IAEA inspectors in the Yongbyon facility that it is immediately ceasing all cooperation with the IAEA. It has requested the removal of all containment and surveillance equipment, following which, IAEA inspectors will no longer be provided access to the facility. The inspectors have also been asked to leave the DPRK at the earliest possible time.

The DPRK also informed the IAEA that it has decided to reactivate all facilities and go ahead with the reprocessing of spent fuel.”

Well… I am just completely shocked that North Korea would do something as “provacative” as this after we were oh so strong in our condemnation of their last “provacative” act. Gee wilikers who would’ve thought?

Stay tuned… there is more to come on this.

According to the report, the man, who was arrested on Friday, was carrying a press card identifying him as an employee of Al Jazeera. He reportedly confessed to his intention to stab Obama with a knife and said that he was aided by three accomplices.

The report stated that Turkish authorities were still unsure as to whether the press card was a fake or whether it had actually been issued the man by the Qatari news network.

Al-Jazeera’s Ankara bureau chief, Yussef al-Sharif, told the paper that news of the suspected assassination plot had come as an utter surprise to the network’s staff in Turkey, adding that all of Al-Jazeera’s employees in the country claimed that they were not acquainted with the suspect.

Let me be the first to congratulate the law enforcement involved in stopping this assassination attempt. And let me be the first to say that I hope this brush with the realities of the war on terror will help to convince our President that he needs to commit to the fight. I hope you now see, Mr. President, that the terrorists don’t want to be your friend. They want to kill you, literally.

Pandering to them wont make them like you. Talking with them wont make them civil. Surrendering to them wont make them stop.

UPDATE: Ace links the story. He thinks there isn’t much to the plot because they planned to use a knife but it’s the press passes that make me think otherwise. It seems to me that the press could, at least in theory, get within knife range of the President. Especially considering Obama’s desire to make middle eastern networks like him.

UPDATE: CBN News has a little more information on this story. Apparently the man was planning on carrying out his attack tomorrow but was arrested on Friday. However, President Obama may still be in danger because the man claims that if he was to fail in his attempt his three conspirators were supposed to carry out their own attack. I’m sure the President is safe but this is still unnerving.

I’d also like to thank Hot Air, Tommy Christopher at AOL News, Protein Wisdom, and Memeorandum for linking me on this story. The consensus seems to be that these guys were just a bunch of morons with a knife and a fake press pass. I’m not so sure but I’ll keep you updated.

UPDATE: Some more information over at Today’s Zaman (h/t Gateway Pundit). According to their report two people have been arrested, all the conspirators had press passes and they were planning on throwing a knife at President Obama(?):

Meanwhile, two Syrian nationals purported to be in preparations of an attack against President Obama were reportedly detained by the İstanbul police on Saturday. According to a story that was published in Sunday’s Habertürk daily, the Turkish police and the CIA unearthed a plan of four individuals using fake identity cards belonging to the Al Jazeera television station to follow the US president’s visit as journalists and kill Obama by throwing a knife at him during the president’s Alliance of Civilizations meeting at the Çırağan Palace scheduled for tonight. Three others were being sought by the police yesterday in İstanbul, where the police have been carrying out extensive security operations to make sure that the visit passes without a hitch.

If you read the report it outlines the very stringent security measures that should be reassuring. I still won’t be happy until they catch the other conspirators or the President leaves Turkey.

Our utterly brilliant Secretary of State managed to embarrass our entire nation today by screwing up a simple one word translation:

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton greeted Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov in Geneva Friday with a special present: a reset button inside a gift box with a ribbon.

[...]

Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Lavrov pressed the button together at the beginning of their first meeting, and he said he would put in on his desk.

“I would like to present you with a little gift that represents what President Obama, Vice President Biden and I have been saying,” Mrs. Clinton said. “We want to reset our relationship, and so we will do it together.”

In addition to the red button on a black-and-yellow base, the State Department had written “reset” in English and what it thought was its Russian equivalent.

“We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?” Mrs. Clinton asked Mr. Lavrov.

“You got it wrong,” he said, adding that the word he was looking at meant “overcharge,” though “overload” may be more precise.

Yup, that’s right, our state department doesn’t know how to translate English into Russian. Russian for freakin sake! The section of our government charged with foreign relations can’t even translate a single word into one of the worlds most important languages… pathetic. This just makes our country look stupid.

I mean she even tells Lavrov that our state department worked hard to get the translation right. How does that look to the Russians? I can’t believe Lavrov didn’t break out laughing. Seriously… doesn’t the state department have anybody who actually speaks Russian? GIVE ME A BREAK.

But perhaps I’m being to harsh… after all maybe they just brought the wrong button and the one they gave Lavrov was intended for the American tax payers? It’s a possibility…

UPDATE: Tommy Christopher over at AOL sees a different problem with Clinton’s gesture… yea, giving the Russians “the red button” is quite ironic but this administration hasn’t and doesn’t seem to want to learn from history so perhaps the irony is lost on them.

We’re screwed (but I guess you already figured that out)

Apparently, only a day after Obama suspended all military tribunal proceedings, there has been a draft to close guantanamo presented to him. The order requires the prison to be closed within one year but there aren’t any details as to what will happen to the detainees thus far.

Not surprisingly this decision has the defenders of the terrorists and the Europeans (I know, I know… same thing) cheering:

“It is a major positive step in the right direction,” said Jamil Dakwar, a lawyer for the American Civil Liberties Union who was observing pretrial hearings at Guantanamo this week.

The decision was also welcomed by the European Union, which repeatedly criticized the Bush administration over alleged human rights abuses at Guantanamo as well as for the military commissions.

The European Commission “has been very pleased that one of the first actions of Mr. Obama has been to turn the page on this sad episode of Guantanamo,” said Michele Cercone, spokesman for the EU Justice and Home Affairs Commission.

But the families of the terrorist’s victims are clearly and justifiably upset at the halt of the trials and the possibility that these terrorists could be brought to the united states:

“The safest place to have these trials is Guantanamo Bay. If they were to move to the homeland it would endanger all of us,” said Lorraine Arias Believeau of Barnegat, New Jersey, whose brother, Adam, was killed in the attacks.

Did I say we’re screwed yet?

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez apparently doesn’t appreciate Barack Obama’s classifying him as a supporter of the Colombian terror group, FARC, likening the president-elect’s odor to that of Chavez’s nemesis, President Bush.

In an interview airing on Venezuelan television and reported by The Washington Post Monday, Chavez said Obama has “the same stench” as Bush. The comment harkens back to September 2006, when Chavez addressed the United Nations General Assembly after Bush and said he could still smell the “sulfur” the U.S. president left behind at the podium.

I’m not worried though, once our savior descends to Venezuela to meet with Chavez I am positive that his mere presence will bring about such overwhelming hope and change that Chavez will immediately repent of his evil ways and fall to his knees in loving adoration.

I mean it worked on the media… so why not?

Though, I suppose, if any of this is going to be possible than Chavez will have to get past his desire to control his country and the rest of South America. Oh, and he’ll probably have to stop saying that Obama only opposes him because something called “the empire” will kill him if he doesn’t:

“If he doesn’t obey the orders of the empire, they’ll kill him,” Chavez said, without naming who “they” are.

yea…

They were even extra super nice in asking and refrained from their usual US-bashing crap.

If the Associated Press is right about these bad guys (who are really just misunderstood good guys) then maybe they’ve turned of a new, less murderous, leaf:

The North’s move, if confirmed, would be another sign the regime is eager to forge good relations with the next U.S. administration.

But, gee-golly, call me a skeptic cause I just ain’t buying the happy face routine. Though it looks like we will never know because Washington has decided to rain on the parade and deny Pyongyang seats at the ball.